No, You're Not Excused
If you're dead set on the path of escaping from your cage, then this is an absolutely critical lesson:
Stop Making Excuses
Stop. Right now. Make a commitment to yourself, to your future, and to any hope you have of ever being free to stop making excuses for your mistakes, shortcomings, or anything else that occurs in your life.
“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
– Benjamin Franklin
If you think you've fucked up, accept that things are how they are *right now*, you can't turn back time, learn from whatever happened if there are lessons to learn, and move the fuck on. The excuses need to end now. If you take nothing else away from this book but this one principle, it will have been worth the cover price a thousand times over.
Until you learn to stop making excuses you’ll never be more than an animal in a cage, and the day you commit to quit making excuses is the day you experience your first taste of real freedom.
Take a look at the following list and tell me that you don’t make excuses in your life regarding at least one of these (be honest now):
"Bad" Habits (smoking, drinking, drug use, infidelity, gambling, etc.) - none of these are intrinsically bad per se, but are a matter of hormesis (the dose makes the poison), so don't overdose like a dumb ass.
Exercise, weight loss, diet, or other facets of health and appearance.
Work (getting something done, not quitting a shitty job, not taking a much needed vacation, laziness, etc.).
Fulfilling a dream (learning something, doing something, going somewhere).
Calling a friend, visiting family, having a life, or anything else hiding behind procrastination.
We all fall short of our ideals, due largely to our tendency to make excuses (though sometimes our targets are both stupid and pointless, so be careful where you aim and why you aim there). Overcoming our propensity for excuse making is tricky, but the following steps will work wonders if you stick to them consistently.
Every day for the next week, at the end of each day (or throughout the day, if that's easier for you), I want you to do the following:
Grab a pen and a piece of paper.
Mentally examine your day and ask yourself, “Did I make excuses today?”
Write down each instance that day that you made an excuse, for whatever reason.
Make a commitment that tomorrow, if you find yourself making an excuse, that you’ll simply take a deep breath, accept reality, and move on. If you need to respond to someone, say Yes or No, no excuses. If pressed for a reason, just be honest or say "I'm running an experiment where I only say yes or no".
Rinse and repeat, day after day, until you’ve mastered this concept.
Making excuses is a bad habit, and I’d bet that most of us, if we’re being honest, are either making or have made excuses in our lives for something in the above list. Most of us make excuses daily.
The caveat of course is “if we’re being honest”, which we’re probably not. We’re just not terribly honest creatures, particularly with ourselves.
“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”
– Thomas Jefferson